Gathering Your Soul

One of the great gifts that Judaism has given the world is the idea of a day of rest--the Sabbath. I am convinced that making Sabbath, for Jews, Christians, and everyone else in this culture in this 21st Century (perhaps, especially in this culture in this 21st Century), is essential to the spiritual, and physical, health of the individual, the family, and the community.

How quickly are you going through your life? How many hours each week do you spend on your job (or jobs)? How many hours do you spend in an automobile making sure your children keep up with their own schedules? Are your holidays and vacations so intensely scheduled that you can only remember what you did by looking at the photos?

Are you inexhaustible or simply exhausted?

Sabbath is a holy day, a sanctified day, that is, a day set apart. It is the day-of-rest for catching up with yourself in the company of your family and, often, in the company of your worshipping community.

On the day-of-rest, you have no chores and no business; you have enjoyment.

How to Start

Starting the practice of taking a day-of-rest practice requires planning, and, if you are in a family situation, discussion with your partner.

Select a Day

First, you must decide on exactly what day is your day-of-rest. If you are not living in a family, you might decide on the same day that your worshipping community meets (usually, but not always, that day is a Sunday). If you have a family, you might also decide on Sunday. But, if you are a minister in a worshipping community, chances are that you are too busy on Sundays, so, for you, your day-of-rest must be a different day.

Decide on a Trial Period

Although observing a day-of-rest is essential, any large change in your life needs to be tested. Commit yourself to a trial period, for example, to four months, during which you will observe your day-of-rest absolutely. At the end of the trial period, look back on this time and make any needed changes.

For Individuals

If you do not live in a family, use your day-of-rest to read, meditate, take a walk, watch a video, write a letter, make music. If you know someone else who is trying to practice a day-of-rest, perhaps you can get together for a meal. In any case, your day-of-rest should not make you feel alone, but rather in touch with the Holy and with yourself.

Deal With Your Childrens' Schedules

If you have children whose activities are heavily scheduled for the weekend, you may have to postpone your trial period until their schedules run out. If your children have a recurring activity (for example, piano lessons), attempt to reschedule the activity. If your child belongs to an athletic league that requires practice on your day-of-rest, explain your trial to the coach. If the coach is unwilling to listen, or if the coach benches your child, move your child to a different coach or different activity.

One thing you will not be doing on your day of rest is chauffeuring your children, or having anyone else chauffeur your children. Remember: the day-of-rest is for the whole family, together.

So, Now You are Together

Families that are not used to doing activities together may find getting started a bit awkward. As the adults, you set the tone and the limits. One way to start is by reading silly jokes to each other; laughing together will help you relax with each other. After that, another good activity is writing a family diary. Everyone can write out what happened that was significant during the week. Little ones can draw pictures. You can either read your writings to each other or simply gather them into a file or box that you will add to each week, then read at a set time; perhaps on the same date in the next year. Reading books or articles to each other is also a good activity, as are solving jigsaw puzzles, taking walks, or watching a video.

If you have a gift for music, singing is a good family activity, or one or more children can give a musical recital for the rest of the family.

Preparation

As you can see, no doubt, whether you are an individual or living with a family, making a day-of-rest requires some planning. If you are going to be reading, decide on what to read a day or two ahead so you need not go to the bookstore or have a large family debate about what to read on your day-of-rest. If you are going to be watching a video, rent the video ahead of time. Keep meals simple. Families should eat together. If you plan to have a large dinner, make it a day ahead so you are not pressured in the kitchen on your day-of-rest. If you are going to work on a family diary, lay out the materials the day or night before.

The children must understand that they will not be doing their homework on the day-of-rest.

If you were Jewish, you would be cleaning your whole house the day before your day-of-rest; but, whether you clean ahead or not, do not plan to do any chores.

Common Sense

Of course some chores--like changing the baby's diapers--are not something you can skip. Medical emergencies are not something you can ignore. Be sensible, but also be discerning. The cat litter box can wait a day, as can painting the garage door. However, whether a broken pipe requires fixing that day or simply that you close the valve depends on your situation. Helping a hurt child can't wait, but people who want you to pick them up at the airport usually can arrive on a different day or take a cab.

Be Firm

During your trial period, you may have to be firm with yourself, with your friends, and with your children and their friends. Expect this, and don't make too much of it, just be firm.

Review

At the end of your trial period, review what benefits you have received by observing a day-of-rest. Parents should allow children to speak about any benefits or concerns or suggestions for change. Changes might include setting the breakfast table the night before so that no scramble occurs in the first hour of your day-of-rest, or you might need to find a way to invite friends and visitors occasionally.

I do encourage you to try, however. Even God rested; don't you deserve a break, too?